first session

I was so nervous walking up to see the therapist. What if it went horribly? What if I didn't like him? What if I left feeling worse?

He clarified the way I have been feeling, and helped me to think about why I act the way that I do. Why do I have anxiety and why do I cope with it by avoiding unknown situations that leave me feeling stupid and vulnerable. He is right- I need to embrace that feeling of being out on a wire, putting myself on the line, letting go of some of that control. I have issues focusing on the "here and now". This moment is really the only one that I have, I need to stop worrying constantly about what *might* happen tomorrow and just focus on what I need to do right here, right now, this moment.

He is the first person to ever tell me to accept my anxiety as a part of me. It is a part of me, not something to be taken out of me and destroyed. It will always be with me, but I can take control of it, learn to cope with it, and call my own shots without my anxieties getting in the way of what I want for my life. I have such high aspirations. If I can get a hold on my anxieties and change the way that I view and react to my anxiety, the sky is the limit. I know that I can do this.
I know that I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm reaching out into the world more than ever before, and I'm really proud of myself. Baby steps . . .

Here's to next weeks session- I'm looking forward to it.